Have people really changed with times? Or Have the times changed?

These days we find several posts that talk of the good old days where people were concerned about each other, shared each other’s joys and sorrows. The posts remind us of the child hood days when we were unlike the children of today, of parents who had time for their children, of strangers who were kind and helpful, where we had real friends unlike today where we have more virtual friends.

In short this comparison is to make us realise that people were good in the past and those days were the best days. And today people are selfish, youth are more self-centred, children are indifferent and rude, they don’t respect the elders nor do they have the helping nature that children earlier had. All that the youth, kids and even adults are absorbed into today is the modern day gadgets that keeps them occupied in a world of their own whereby they are detached with the real world and real people.

Recently I read a blog by Kelly flanagan forwarded to me by my niece and it set me thinking. The blog was about how kids have more to teach to us especially some lessons of life which we have conveniently forgotten smug in our self confidence and complacency.

He is right, I realised. We do have so much to learn from kids if only we take some time to contemplate. We, the older generation who tend to dismiss off today’s generation as ‘artificial’ beings. At the same time we also dismiss even the adults who have changed with the modern times and have become callous and selfish.

Early this year in the month of February, I lost my brother. He left behind 2 boys aged 14, 13 and a girl aged 11. The children were for some days numb with sadness and found a great difficulty in coming to terms with the death of their father.

However, the boys had several friends in the neighbourhood and these boys did their best to draw out my nephews and include them in their games. And on two occasions they also took my nephews out to a bakery and on another day to a tiffin centre just to cheer them up and treat them to their favourite dishes and snacks from their pocket money.

And the school management where they studied delegated a group of female teachers to come to our house to offer their condolences. And the teachers had brought with them a letter from the management offering their condolences.

The eldest boy studied in another school. And the director of that school, a young man was not in India but his parents came to our house to offer their condolences to my brother’s wife and his children. And when the director came back to India after a couple of months he waived off the fees for the coming academic year which was the last year in school for my nephew.

 I realised people have not really changed. Or if they have, not all people, not all kids, not all youth have changed.

If anything has changed it is the perception, the circumstances and environment that forces people to become callous, indifferent, rude, selfish and what not.

I not only felt overwhelmed by all these actions of the people connected to my brother’s family but I went down memory lane.

I was maybe 11 when my father died. And apart from my class teacher who consoled me when I went to school after a couple of days, no one else did. No other teacher, no classmate or the management had anything to say to  me leave apart coming home to offer their condolence to my mother.

However a kind lady in the neighbourhood took me and my little niece to her house and gave us chapati to eat and tea to drink. Though at that time I did not realise why she was feeding us. But now I do.

So have times really changed? Have people changed? Have they become good now? Or were they good back then? It isn’t really about time. It is about people. Time is only a concept we human beings perceive.

People can be good or bad whenever wherever they want. It has nothing to do with times then or times now.

Time changes, it cannot be constant. So do people, either for good or for bad. You cannot escape change but you can certainly decide how you want to change.

It rained flowers

Something light drifted and brushing my cheek fell down in my lap. I took the small white flower gingerly and smelt it. It smelt wonderful nothing like I had ever smelt before. I looked around in astonishment as there were no flower trees around. And then another flower floated down. This one was different. Even as I was admiring the beauty of this one  many flowers began falling. I got up from the roadside bench and looked up at the sky. There were huge clouds looming and something magical from the clouds was happening. IT was raining flowers!!

I looked around in utter amazement. The pavement was covered with flowers of all shapes, colours and sizes. Some familiar like our roses, lilies, jasmine, marigold, chrysanthemum, lotus and many whose names I did not even know but strongly felt that these were flowers not of the earth but of the heavens. For they not just looked exotic but also smelled heavenly.

The air was filled with a delightful perfume and the land with flowers. Everyone around me were as amazed as I was. But soon everyone began picking up the flowers and filling them up in their bags. Every one present there had become a child in their enthusiasm and joy at the magical wonder.

Many rushed in their houses and came back with baskets, bags and anything they could find to fill the flowers with.

I too began filling up my empty grocery bags. Thank God I had not yet reached the store and had paused to catch my breath on the bench at the pavement.

I was already thinking of decorating all the vases with fresh exotic flowers and make bouquets with the remaining ones.  And just as I was thinking of various ways I could use the flowers, it stopped raining.

And there we were all of us with arm full and bag full of flowers still unable to recover from the magical rain.

People now began chatting animatedly about what they were going to do with the flowers. I am sure many would want to sell them to the florists because these were flowers no one had even seen in this side of the town. While those who lived nearby must have collected flowers in tons and wanted to sell them to the perfume maker while someone wanted to export them!!

I looked around and there were no flowers left on the ground. Every single flower was gone. As if there was no flower rain. Why even the stray animals had a taste of the flowers. They were feeding on them.

I walked home wards with my three bags full of flowers. I was sure everyone in the town had collected these flowers.

I know we would talk about this magical rain not for days or months but years together and pass on this amazing story to our future generations.

The flowers stayed fresh for a week. And then later the decomposed flowers were used as compost for our kitchen gardens.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for

Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

I close my eyes

In Love

MIrages

Roads where dost thou go

Musings: Desert Rose of Umerkot

Musings: Desert Rose of Umerkot

Desert Rose of Umerkot

Nirmala Maghani doing the riyaaz

I first heard Nirmala on you tube - a video she had uploaded of her performance on a TV channel in Pakistan. I loved her rich soulful voice and the earnest expression she wore while singing.

I contacted her to find out under whom she was trained. And to my amazement I found out that this 19 year old girl had not one but three ustaads!!

But hey hang on..all the three ustaads are not your regular ustaads we know of.  They are her online mentors. And I was baffled because with online classes this girl was simply awesome. Imagine the talent that is still unexplored in this 19 year old girl.

I was curious and probed more (via internet). Nirmala then told me all about herself, how she got into singing, her online Ustaads, her family, her education and her dream.

Nirmala Maghani resides in the desert region of Umerkot, Sindh, Pakistan. She has just completed her Intermediate and will take admission for the B Sc course. Her father no longer alive so she lives with her mother, grandmother and her brother who not only runs the household but also nurtures Nirmala’s talent and is her mentor and career advisor.

Singing is a kind of taboo in our community, says Nirmala. But she was blessed with a golden voice that was waiting to be heard sooner or later. Nirmala sang in the school functions and her teachers saw a promising singer in her and encouraged her to sing. Her brother decided to make his little sister a singer and did not stop her when she practiced at home the folk songs from the local dholak players. A little bit hesitant at first, her daadi and mother later gave in and let Nirmala practice. Nirmala also picked up playing the harmonium from these dholak players whenever she got the chance.

One fine day her brother surprised her and got a harmonium on

 rent. But when Nirmala played the harmonium and began

 singing curious neighbours of their community wanted to

 know what was going on. 

Girls from good families did not go singing around, they said. And the elders of the community advised her against it.

After a few days Nirmala took to singing again closing all the doors and windows of their house she practiced singing and playing the harmonium which she had hidden away so that people visiting them should not see it.

 Things began to change when she got a chance to perform on TV in the morning show on the local channel and people in her community started noticing her. They still disapproved but now Nirmala did not shut the doors while practicing and soon her brother purchased a harmonium for her.

Anup Jalota ji making Nirmala officially his shagird

Nirmala then contacted Anup Jalota the ghazal and devotional songs singer in India through the social media and requested him to train her. Anup Jalota readily agreed to a request that came all the way from a teenager in Umerkot Pakistan. Seeing her interest and eagerness to learn classical music that he sent her lessons over voice recordings and these classes are still on.

In the same manner she also met Ustaad Raza Ali Khan the great son of legendary Ustaad Bade Ghulam Ali of Kolkata and was taking online lessons from him.

Nirmala got lucky in the year 2017 when Anup Jalota came to Sindh and Nirmala got to meet her idol who then officially made her his disciple.  Nirmala was overjoyed when she performed alongside her Guru whom she also calls papa because Anup Jalota ji has made her his beti the day she sent him request on face book.

And she couldn’t get luckier because in the same year Ustaad Raza Ali khan attended the Music conference in Karachi and Nirmala was thrilled to meet her ustaad.

With Ustaad Raza Ali Khan 

And during her visits to the recording studio in Karachi which is 400 kilometers from Umerkot she met Ustaad Murtuza Khan Naizi and became his disciple and takes lessons from him both online when she is in Umerkot and live classes when she goes to Karachi.

She works hard doing ‘riyaaz’ (practice) for 10 to 12 hours a day with no interest in anything else except singing unlike other girls of her age. Clearly Nirmala is not the typical teenager because her focus in solely on singing and singing alone. She does not want to perform in marriages and parties that would be losing my identity as a sufi and classical singer because in parties people want you to sing party songs and that is not my style.

The most memorable moment in Nirmala’s life is the time when she sang with her papa cum Ustaad Anup Jalota on the stage. It was something I never even dreamed of, she says.

Her favourites are Abida Parveen, Mehdi Hassan and of course Anup Jalota.  She dreams of performing in India one day. 

It would be such an honour to come to India and perform. And I will be able to meet both my Ustaads again.

And her only reward is having more and more people hear her sing. When people listen to me singing and appreciate it that is the greatest reward for a singer.

Like all singers Nirmala also believes that music can bridge the divides between people because music has no religion. She feels the music fraternity can help build improve the strained Indo-Pak relations. She has hopes that peace will prevail again. After all both countries were one before the axe of partition fell and there are so many things in common apart from music.

Hope Nirmala's dreams come true and she becomes a successful singer soon. :))

Nirmala's display page

You can hear Nirmala sing on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6Iea5C3CF8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wboAyw1kySA

Kicking for success

17 year old Priyanka looks delicate with her lean frame and sharp features. But shake hands with her and you can see she is tough as nails being a wrestler and a kick boxer.

Priyanka began her sports career by practicing to be a belt wrestler and a free wrestler ever since she was in high school but of late she is into kick boxing. And has become a champion at it.

Born to poor parents Priyanka lived in the Rainbow Home run by APSA (Association for promoting Social Action) an NGO that works for children and for community development in Hyderabad and Secunderabad. 

Rainbow Homes program is part of Association for rural and urban needy (ARUN) under which there are homes for children who are underprivileged due to poverty, children living on streets, orphans, lost, trafficked and have no access to basic care. The Rainbow homes shelter these children and provide them with all the basic amenities, education, care, love and guidance molding their future and encouraging to dream of a future where they can be secure and happy.  There are 45 such homes across the country and 19 of them are in Hyderabad.

  Priyanka’s father who worked as a bus conductor met with an accident that made him incapable of working again and her mother took up a job as security personnel in a mall. Bringing up 6 children single handedly was a huge task for her mother so she enrolled 4 daughters, Priyanka included in the APSA (Association for promoting Social Action) Rainbow Home in 2009 when she was a 10 year old kid.

Priyanka and her sisters adapted to their new life in the Rainbow home and were cheerful all the time. Priyanka showed more inclination towards sports and so her teacher at school began to coach her in belt wrestling and free style wrestling. The director of the organization Srinivas Reddy engaged a coach for her when he saw the spark in the girl’s eyes

Priyanka worked hard getting up early mornings for the exercises and training. The care takers and mentors at the Rainbow Home encouraged her at every step. Waking her up in the mornings, with her diet and boosting her spirits in her small defeats and victories.  

 And the hard work paid off when Priyanka was selected to play for the state. And Priyanka won first place at the state level and went to Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh in 2016 and then again in the next year she qualified for the National level at Maharashtra.

But both the years she could not win gold in the wrestling competition. However it was still a victorious moment for her when Mr. Akramullah from the Sports Association for Telangana State saw her wrestling skills. He immediately contacted her guardians at the Rainbow Home on his return to Hyderabad and after the initial formalities of seeking permission; he took her under his wing and coached her in kick boxing where her real potential lay.

Just after 2 months of rigorous training the state level competitions for the ‘under 19 category’ came up and Priyanka won the gold medal and qualified for the national levels – WAKO India National Kickboxing championship.

WAKO India (WAKO – World Association of Kickboxing organizations) event was held from January 25^th -28^th 2018; for the first time in Telangana State with nearly 1600 participants from 23 states of India. And our girl Priyanka was one of them.   

 Priyanka participated in the National level WAKO India National championship and after defeating her opponents from Haryana and Madhya Pradesh she entered the final round with a girl from Maharashtra. After a tough match Priyanka emerged the winner.

It was a moment of pride for all of us from APSA when she won and the gold medal adorned her neck. And as she lifted her trophy and posed for photographs her mentors gloated with pride. It was not just Priyanka but all the girls who lived with her in the Rainbow home who had won that day. She was an example to them and the junior girls had always looked up to her. And she had not failed them this time either. 

Her mother cried in happiness hugging Priyanka. The sacrifice of keeping her daughters away from her had not gone in vain. Priyanka did them proud.

Priyanka wants to ease the burden of her mother by taking up a job as soon as she finishes Intermediate 2^nd year and turns 18. She wants to become a police constable although her ultimate goal is to become an IPS.

Says she, “I can’t afford to wait that long to support my mother. So I will first join as a constable, support my mother and pursue a degree through correspondence. And once I finish my degree I will appear for the UPSC exams. I want to join the IPS.”

But right now she is gearing up for the WAKO Asia International level the venue of which is yet to be declared. But Priyanka says she is ready and rearing to go beat or get beaten. Though we all hope she beats all her opponents and emerges a champion.  

All the very best to Priyanka Mankar.

with the staff and director of APSA 

My five wishes for 2018

This prompt too by BlogAdda like the previous one had me reflecting. I have stopped making New year resolutions from a long time because other priorities take over and I have had to shelve them. So planning in advance maybe good but most of it never happens.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans by woody Allen remains my favourite quote.

However a wish list is different I suppose but not really…

Anyway when I sat down to make my wish list for 2018 I realized there were many wishes waiting to be fulfilled. And I recalled the couplet by Mirza Ghalib in Urdu, 

“Hazaaron khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle
Bohat niklay mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle” 

Well here are my 5 wish lists for 2018 which I am hoping to fulfill…

1.   Learn Urdu:

Yes, it is my mother tongue but apart from speaking Urdu – Daccani Urdu as Hyderabadi Urdu is called I could never learn reading and writing the language. I did try several times but I never went beyond the alphabets..Aalif; Bay; Tey; Say; …

So this year I am going to learn to read, write and even speak the language using better words. Urdu is a poetic language and poetry interests me.  And now I am going to read Urdu poetry as well once I learn to read fluently which has been my wish form quiet a long time now. 

2. Learn swimming:

This wish is actually on my bucket list as well. And this year I am going to fulfill it no matter what. Come summer and I will enroll for swimming lessons even if it is once or twice a week because that is the only time I can afford.

     3. Talking of time..this year it is going to about time I guess. So my next wish is Read Read Read:

Reading is my hobby I say but I am not getting enough time to read and still have 9 unread books in the shelf and 2 downloaded from kindle. So now I am going to squeeze time and read these books because I know it will not stop at 9 because I will buy m ore books as and when I see a interesting book.

     4.   Exercise and mediate:

Not enough will power here. But I will gather my will power drag myself out of the bed half an early in the mornings and exercise. I have been advised to exercise but what I do every day is just stretching for about 5 minutes. But now I will follow the complete regimen and exercise for half an hour. And I know it will become a habit. I used to do this stuff for 70 minutes earlier when I was younger. So at this age 30 minutes should be enough. I wish to have a toned body as I used to have before...well with 30 minutes I hope it will be possible

5.   Travel – somewhere – anywhere:

Yes, this year I have to travel someplace. Actually there are so many places and so many people I have been planning and planning to visit but never actually doing it. So this year I will travel to at least one place. Maybe take that trek to the Himalayas or the flower valley which again is on my bucket list or maybe visit my friend up north in Allahabad or down south in Chennai or just go to a tourist spot out of Hyderabad. I wish to travel for the sake of travelling like I used to before.

I hope this year I will fulfill me my wishes. Cheers!!!
What are your wishes? I'd like to know.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’             

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My Five Takeaways from 2017

Usually the prompts of Blogadda bring out the spontaneous writer in me but this time I had to think and rethink; reflect on the entire year to come up with the lessons I learnt and then to shortlist the important ones for this blog.

So then here are my top 5 takeaways from 2017:

1.       If you can do it, then do it. Do not depend on anyone else:

While we do need help now and then from our siblings; partner; children; friends, colleagues it is always better to first explore the possibilities of doing it yourself. Very often you realize that we can do it by ourselves.

This is what I realized it might be a little difficult, it might take more efforts and more time but eventually I could most of my tasks myself. And it is so much better than waiting for the help, the favour and the ‘I owe you’ feeling you are left with after someone does your work for you.

Most importantly you are saved of the frustration when the person you are counting on does not turn up. And your helplessness makes you feel vulnerable. So while looking at ways of doing my own stuff I came up with more resources of my own. And ended up feeling good about myself. Therefore, Never depend on others what you can do yourself.

2.      Set up a deadline:

I am the kind who hates to be pushed around or threatened with deadlines. So I complete the work in office at my pace. (Fortunately within the deadline). But come to my own personal tasks I get distracted and leave so many half finished projects. And I am easy on myself for not meeting the deadline. The result is I have more ‘To dos’ in my list than the songs in my play list.

But now if I have to finish all those half finished projects I have to set a deadline and be strict about it. Take a step back and look at them if they really need to be given a conclusion or can be done away with. No sense in having so many things and some that I may even have lost interest in.

Setting a deadline for the stuff I am keen on completing is a must. This blog would not be done it there wasn’t any deadline. Lol.

Maybe I can indulge myself in one of those things I have been denying myself after completing the task by the deadline.    

3.      Take regular breaks:

This one is from my workplace. I tend to get engrossed in work so much that I forget to stretch my legs or straighten my spine.And I learnt the hard waythrough the doctor that I need to compulsorily take breaks every hour. Walk around, stretch my legs, rotate my neck and shoulders. Relax for a few minutes before getting back to work.

Sure work is important; but Health is more important if you want to continue to work.

4.      Give online shopping a long break:

I have been buying even groceries online along with the regular online shopping of clothes, cosmetics, books, gifts and underclothes. Yes, even undies. And more from the tempting pop-ups that seem to offer more for less.

Seriously, it has been ages I seem to have forgotten what a regular grocery store looks like because of the malls where you get everything under one roof.

Now I am going to give all the online shopping sites a long break and the malls a miss. Go to the grocery store for groceries; clothes shops for clothes; the weekly vegetable market for vegetables; and such other shops for specific use.

Time to switch to REAL shopping.

5.      Love myself. More:

It is not as if I have not been loving myself or loving myself less; I realized I need to love myself more than before but still not too much.

To love myself more I will stop doing all those things that are a waste of time and instead do things that add value to my live and bring me close to my loved ones.

Like using the  phone for its basic purpose – to talk. So I will be calling up friends and family more. Read books that will both inspire me and enrich my mind. In short do all the things that fall in ‘Feel good; Feel happy’ category without guilt trips. 

No more denials – only love and self care.

There, this sums up the takeaways of the year and I intend to earnestly practice the lessons learnt from these takeaways to make 2018 better than all the previous years.  

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’