A farce called Marriage

In my younger days, I thought of marriage as an unnecessary ritual.
A farce. Just to keep two individuals bound in a claustrophobic relationship.
Men and women, married to each other, stay married despite their unhappiness, differences, intimate affairs with others because of several reasons. This is a pretense, a farce, they why marry? Live-in-relationships are fine, so I thought.
If a person in love wants to live the rest of his/her life with the beloved, it can be achieved. By living together under one roof in harmony. why rituals? Does one need the certification of marriage and witnesses to their bond? Approval to love and live together, from the society?
Does the bond of marriage guarantee fidelity? Undying love? the promise to stay on till death did them apart? Even without marriage, the vows can remain intact. There can be commitment towards each other even while living together.
For me, this invisible bond of a wedding was man-made. And meant for those, not strong of mind and determination. Religion sanctions this bond between two persons, some rituals are performed, witnesses who second this whole thing and it earns the legal title.
BUT now I have realized that we are weaklings. We need this institute of marriage, this witnesses to the wedlock, this approval of religion and society.
Though people have the choice to walk out in a marriage, they usually don't. They are scared of the society who has nothing to but talk. The partners think twice before heading different ways. And this 'thinking twice' gives them another chance to work on their relationship.
Not so in a live-in-relationship. One can just walk out without thinking, without explanation, without the accountability that is there in a marriage. It is easier to trample over one's partner, desert the lover in a live-in-relationship. Like the relationship never existed.
But in a marriage? There are questions, accusations, explanations, justifications, excuses and of course the tears and the paper works. The commitment and responsibility are high in a marriage.
Marriage has the respect, the approval of the society. This endorsement is necessary for the feeble human mind to stay in a relationship.
A lover can turn away from the beloved, walk away without hassles. But a wife/husband cant do the same. She/He needs again a signal from the society to undo the marriage. This walking away is labelled 'divorce', whereas the term in a live-in-relationship would be 'estranged' or maybe something else.
Marriage may be a farce, but we need this farce. To be socially acceptable. And for religious purposes.
The mind is conditioned such, that it needs something/ someone to obey to. Independently, it often falters and cannot walk steadily.

The Much Awaited Rain

This summer, the monsoon took a long time in coming. Though predicted early, it choose to stall its arrival. And the clouds kept moving away taking with them the hopes of the people.
The soul of the Earth and that of the humans yearned for the showers to quench their thirst. After several hopeful days, the clouds gathered again yesterday and the mercy of God poured down in the form of rain.
I was buried in a magazine at the dentist’s when I smelt that familiar, pleasant smell. Ha! The rain falling on the dry earth! I closed the magazine and walked out of the hospital. I watched the rain with a strange feeling of joy and elation. There were other people standing in the portico seeking shelter from the showers. I wanted to laugh and tell them “ Why are you hiding from the rain? Come on, drive on, walk on, to wherever you are going.”
I myself wanted to go and stand on the road in the rain. But something held me back. Suddenly I was thinking ‘ what will people think?’ But after a few minutes, I climbed down the steps and just walked into the street. But instead of standing, I walked on. This way I thought I would not seem to be deliberately drenching myself though that was what I really wanted. With all my heart!
So I walked on. I had removed the veil that covered my face. The raindrops fell on my face. I walked on, revealing in every drop of rain that fell on me. I was in ecstasy. I walked on, following my heart. On the long empty stretch of street, I was alone. Soaked through my clothes and my being, I felt the surge to shout out in pure delight, do a jig, but checked myself.
What a price to pay for being an adult! I, who always believe that, others’ opinion of me is of no importance, actually dint want to shout, dance in the rain alone, on the streets because I was conscious of the people standing at the entrances of their places, on the pavements. Was I thinking what would they think if I did what I wanted to do? They were all strangers. They dint matter. Yet I restrained myself. My desire dint fall in the category of normalcy.
Were I child, I would do it without another thought, on an impulse and unabashedly.
I felt ashamed that I dint really let go the way I wanted to. Afraid of strangers’ opinion? I could not decide. Maybe if I was with another person, I would have given in to my impulse. Even if that person dint join, it would be ok, I guess.
Maybe next time.
On second thoughts, were I a man, I would have followed my heart. But then, do men ever feel this passionate? I am not sure. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t.
But the rains yesterday not only made me euphoric but also gave me food for thought.
Learning, ain’t I?