I never stood a chance, Did I?

“I never stood a chance, did I?” I asked Shalu, my friend from school days whom I accidentally met at the railway station after a gap of 20 long years. And we were reminiscing the good old days as we both boarded the same train heading to the same destination.

Shalu smiled - that pretty smile which was her tool, her accessory, her weapon, and her charm.  In short her ticket to a lot of things which lesser mortals like me had to work twice as hard for those very things.

Her smile seemed to say, “Yes, you are right”. I could tell by the way she smiled -  half in pride and half in arrogance.  But her words contradicted her smile, “Not really Niki,” she said somewhat kindly, as if to compensate for my lack of chance, “You excelled in other things like elocution and creative writing stuff which I could never do and did not even participate in”

But I knew better. I said, “Come on Shalu you are being polite. We all know you were the one who was always selected for all the dramas and dances for the school annual day. In fact you were the first preference and were given the main role.”

She was tall, fair, had long tresses, good features and her smile. The smile was an instant click. Her looks and the added bonus of the lovely smile ensured she was everyone’s favourite.

And I, short, dusky and a little bit on the plump side never stood a chance. I was left to myself when most of the girls did rehearsals for the big day. But this had its positive points. I took to books and became a voracious reader. So much that I did not stop even when I got glasses.

And so when it was time for the competitions especially for essay writing; elocution; debate and pick and speak competitions I would simply jump to participate. And I won always. I felt happy but would have felt happier if Shalu too had participated and lost. But Shalu would not even bother to participate in these competitions.

Shalu was a winner anyway without even participating in these competitions. She would be on the stage in at least 3 events and all parents would notice the pretty girl with the lovely smile. I too had my proud moments when I would walk up the stage to receive my prizes but still somewhere the snake of envy would hiss and instead of being elated I would envy Shalu.

I had more reasons to envy Shalu because she was my immediate neighbor too. And my parents would praise her, my sisters would praise her, my brothers would go gaga over her just as the neighbourhood boys did.

After we passed out of class 10 and thankfully Shalu and her family moved to a different place and I learnt to value myself and my talents. And by the time I was graduating and was in my teens the mirror told me I was not really that bad. I was looking good too. Even with my glasses. ‘But not good as Shalu,’ the snake hissed again.    But I silenced it and enjoyed my life and eventually carved a path for myself in the career I chose.

And now after meeting Shalu and while discussing school days and the bygone memories I had to face the truth and say, “I never really stood a chance against you”.

Even now when she told me she was married to Pradeep, the handsome hunk in our neighborhood who was 2 years older to us and all us girls had a crush on I realized, I really never stood a chance. Shalu was in touch with Pradeep even after leaving the town and their love blossomed and they eventually married.

I had long forgotten Pradeep after his family shifted the locality. But come to think of it, Shalu got him simply because she was the pretty girl who stole hearts with her charming smile.

Shalu said, “You know, Niki I always envied you for your eloquence, the powerful debates you gave and how in a few minutes you came up with good points in the extempore. You were one intelligent girl. And look where you are now today. An established widely read author! I am a fan of your writing dear”

Shalu was smiling her pretty smile while I looked at her with my mouth agape for a second and quickly recovered myself.

“I too attempted at writing,” Shalu confessed “but I know with writers like you in the arena I will not stand a chance. So I just write my private journal.”

Should I feel vindicated?  I was not really happy that Shalu was not confident of herself. We exchanged our addresses and promised to meet soon as we now lived not far from each other. And then I would talk Sahlu into taking up her pen, I decided. Everyone has a chance, everyone gets a chance once. All we have to do is try, never give up and be on the look for channelizing our energies in the right direction - the direction of our dreams.

True I never stood a chance as against Shalu. But I got the chance to be me.

  ‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ 

And this blog has won a badge from blogadda ☺

Mask and a child

Last week we organised a health camp in a slum at Balapur, Hyderabad. And this little boy found a disposable doctor mask on the ground and made it a bag like thing by putting a stone it. Thought it rather cute. And he actually gave a smile after he realised that I am not going to scold him. ☺☺

Pics clicked from my Samsung Pro :)) 

I argued with my wife

Fancy dress competion, it says "I argued with my wife"

No, not me. I am a woman. This is about the picture posted here which is circulating in whatsapp with the caption ‘fancy dress competition; it says “I argued with my wife” with laughing smileys. At first I ignored it as an ignorant joke. But when I got it from other groups, I was kinda irked and asked, “What is fancy about it?”

“That’s for a laugh, don’t take it seriously” I was told.

There’s nothing fancy when you get a little boy dressed up in plasters and bandages. It’s a depiction of a wounded person who supposedly “argued with his wife”. Seriously!!???

Is that how men end up when they argue with their wives? Unless of course if the wife is a wrestler/ boxer with an ill temper. There must be hardly a handful of women who beat their men. And men who beat their women? Countless. Women are always at the receiving end and when you reverse it, it becomes a joke sometimes, and other times the reactions vary questioning “what kind of a woman she is?” and the man is not spared either "what kind of a man he is getting  beaten up"; henpecked, joru ka ghulam, etc, etc...

Reverse the scenario and have girl dressed up as “I argued with my husband”. How would the viewers react? I don’t think that would make them laugh at least the women would not laugh I am sure. That’s domestic violence they would say for sure.

So is domestic violence a laughing matter?

And what about the children especially the child who is dressed up like that? What kind of impact it would have on them? What are the messages we are sending to the children when on one hand we want gender equality and on the other we make light of violence at home whether inflicted on men or women.

Sure, I agree this must be just one event in one school somewhere in India. But every step counts when we want to create a gender just society.

Or have I lost my sense of humour as my friend chided me when I put across my view. 

Musings: Bharat Yatra in Hyderabad

Musings: Bharat Yatra in Hyderabad

Bharat Yatra in Hyderabad

The Bharat Yatra a campaign initiated by the Nobel Laureate Shri Kailash Satyarthi against child sexual abuse and trafficking. This nationwide march has begun on 11th September 2017 from Kanyakumari and will conclude on 16th October in New Delhi with the sole aim to make India safe for children. The Bharat Yatra has now marched its way to the Pear city – Hyderabad on 21st September and I have been part of this Yatra today morning when the rally began from Mozamjahi Market.
 At Mozamjahi market children from several NGOs, activists and other dignitaries had gathered and the rally flagged off with the Hon’ble State Home Minister Shri Nayani Narsimha Murthy addressing the gathering and Ms. Amala Akenini the Telugu movie actress sharing her views on child sexual abuse and trafficking. Shouting slogans to condemn abuse against children we reached the exhibition grounds, Nampally where a huge dais was all set with seating arrangements; the large tent decorated with chandeliers and green carpets on the ground. The huge dais was filled with all the NGO partners; religious leaders from the interfaith forum; local politicians and Members of Parliament. Well....the politicians came later after the NGO heads had finished talking which was one minute per person. They all spoke about what their respective organization is doing for children and what they aim to do now after being part of the campaign. There were a few talks that struck a chord with me – one that of a NGO head – don’t remember the content but he spoke Hyderabadi Urdu while all others spoke the proper Hindi dialect despite being Hyderabadis ( as happens in most cases because most of us feel embarrassed talking the Hyderabadi dialect). Not this person though…he confidently spoke in Deccani Urdu/ Hindi and I was like, “yes man, way to go”. Apni zuban is apni zuban why bother about impressing others??? 

 The other speech was by the chairperson of MV Foundation – she said things that will definitely force us to pause and think about the underprivileged children.
 Roti; Kapda and Makan – these 3 basic essentials and child labour is involved in all of these 3. Shame on us, adults who cant and don’t do anything to put an end to child labour. A member of Parliament started off confidently but faltered when it came to using the word sexual abuse; he frankly told the audience that he wants to use the word harassment instead. Seriously!!! If it is so hard to just use the word then think of the lakhs of children who are sexually abused. Another MP spoke about people chanting every day for deliverance from evil from hundreds of years but still have not been delivered from evil simply because evil exists within our own selves and manifests in several forms one of which is child abuse. True indeed. Finally the Nobel Peace laureate spoke and addressed the gathering saying that as a Nobel Laureate it is his moral obligation to contribute to the betterment of children which through his foundation he is doing and has rescued many children from trafficking and sexual abuse. He spoke of some incidents he experienced in his work. The rapist in our country roams freely while the victim is confined to the house and forced to hide in guilt. Such is the mindset which must change, he said. There are several laws to protect children against all forms of abuse but implementation is poor and the conviction rate is low of abusers. 2 outstanding incidents he mentioned were of a girl who turned hysterical on hearing the word ‘school’ because she was abused while on her way to school; and another wherin a couple of children rescued from trafficking were discussing the amount they were sold for till finally one boy told them that the price of a buffalo in their state is much more than the price these children (girls and boys) were sold for. Meanwhile the Bill on anti trafficking is waiting to be passed, to see the light of the day, to bring to book the predators that crush innocent children and it may take years before it is passed. And while the bill waits and the parliamentarians debate, governments change, several children will be sexually abused; trafficked and silenced. This reminds me of what Gabriela Mistral, a Chilean poet, educator, and diplomat, also a Nobel Prize Laureate said about children, “Many things we need can wait. The child cannot. Now is the time his bones are being formed, her blood is being constituted, his brain is being developed. To her we cannot say tomorrow. His name is today.”

And I also mused...here is a Nobel laureate who has taken his moral duty so seriously and there is another one in Myanmar.......

Musings: School Reunion – Season 2/ part 2 (?)

Musings: School Reunion – Season 2/ part 2 (?)

School Reunion – Season 2/ part 2 (?)

First of all the title of this blog – should I call it part 2 or season 2? I prefer season 2 with the hope that there will be many more seasons just like our daily soaps and reality shows that always keep coming back with different twists. The part 2 of school reunion took some time to happen but it did happen. Some of us just dint want to bid farewell to 2016 without the second reunion. So after much planning and speculating and collapsing of the plans nothing seemed to be happening. Something or the other cropped forcing us to shelve our plans. When we reached the fag end of the year and had given up hopes of a reunion in 2016 after the successful first reunion in 2015 we were all invited to the marriage of one of our friend’s daughter. So this became the reason for us to meet again. The wedding was again in the same town where we had all grown together studying in the same alma mater. But again like the previous year not all of us could make it but those who could did it. Even if we were a handful it still meant a reunion of old friends or old memories of old days but of young hearts. We have to thank this modern technology which keeps us in touch on day to day basis through whatsapp. If not for this we would never have met, never have known the joy of meeting childhood friends again. I recall the story by Ruskin Bond ‘The meeting Pool’ in which three friends decide to meet at their favourite haunt – the pool after 10 years. They fix a date ten years on but except for Ruskin none of his other friends turn up. Apparently they have forgotten or something else happened. But those days they did not have any means of communication except snail mail (letters) and that too was not a regular feature which is why old friends never met up much after their paths had parted. And those who promised to meet like Bond and his friends never turned up and there were no reunions of friends. I remember vividly how sad I felt when I read that story for Bond who came to their fixed spot on the fixed date and waited in vain for his friends and went away sadly recalling those bygone days. In fact I still feel bad whenever I recall that story. But our story did not shape up that way, thanks to providence. (And to modern technology, again lol). However the 2nd reunion was different. Dressed in finery we gathered to bless the bride and groom whose pair was the cutest ever. While all the invitees were busy watching the wedding process we friends were busy catching up with each other and bursting into laughter now and then while people around perhaps wondered, what’s with these women? Dressed as ladies but behaving as ‘kool kids’. Still crazy after all those years!!! There was an orchestra playing at the wedding and on our request the orchestra played a song of eternal friendship of school buddies. After the wedding we gathered at the place where we were put up for more chatting, jokes and more catching up. We counted the friends who had missed this reunion and hoped they were in our midst now. And some of them parted as they could spare only a day. The rest of us few in number but great in spirit gathered for supper. And later in the warmth of our lodging rooms where the numbers had dwindled again leaving only 5 of us sharing a 5 bedded room. And since the number was less the proximity was more and through the night we talked sharing our painful experiences from the past after passing out of school and graduating to a new life. Stories of pain caused by prolonged illness were shared through tears and the hugs that were due from old friends as only these hugs could reassure and heal even after the years. Someone has rightly said, a hug by old friend is all we need when we are down and broken. Or just to feel alright. Sharing your pain with a friend is definitely a healing process. Long through the night we talked sharing our experiences and wisdom garnered over the years. These midnight conversations drew us more close which I do not think is really possible through the whatsapp. In the morning we parted after breakfast back to our routine life with its responsibilities kissing sad goodbyes. Time spent with old friends – is precious. Nothing can beat it. ‘Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven’ – Tryon Edwards Till we meet again to experience another type of heaven for the Reunion – season 3 or is it part 3? What do you say girls??